Thursday, January 29, 2009

To me the hardest thing about blogging is when your mind is taken up with things that you can't blog about. I am annoyed when other people post vague posts about what is going on in their lives and you are just left with an unearned curiosity that you feel kind of weird about.

That is exactly where I find myself over the last few days. No one has a terminal illness and everything is really ok. Just so you know.

Yesterday I was working and I needed to stop my brain from a useless cycle of black thoughts and self recrimination. I called upon Amos Lee, Brahms, The Killers (Olivia loaded my ipod), Derek Webb, Corinne Bailey Rae, Tom Petty and all my other rock star friends. They
sound-blasted my head so that there was no room for anything else. Oh, and one more... Stacey. She is my rock star friend who came with soup and a sympathetic ear.


You rock!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Memoirs...

Like I said, I've been reading some memoirs lately, the most recent being The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. There just aren't enough superlatives to cover my experience with this book. I always hesitate to recommend books because I don't read a lot of "Christian" books. I don't suggest this one if you are offended by bad language, although it is rare and always in context. This woman has simply had an outrageous life, if outrageous means growing up in worst family you can imagine and I can imagine a lot. Yet there is nothing whiny or depressing about it. Read it.

So here is what I wonder about memoirs. How do people remember things in such vivid detail? I hardly recall what I am wearing right this minute, much less what I wore/ate/experienced when I was five! My guess is that it comes back to you as you write. If not you can make up details and you get asked back to the Oprah show to get yelled at.

Really, I make things up all the time.

I may give it a try, not writing my memoir, but just things I remember. I'll try not to make things up.

I'll start right now. First grade.

I lived in a small Kansas town and we had one black family, the Camps. I don't know how I know they were the only black family, but I don't think I made that up. Phillip Camp sat next to me in class. He had braces on his legs. Do kids still get braces on their legs? Mrs. Wright was our teacher (oh my the details are flooding back) and she was old. Probably 40 or something.

One day, early in the year, Phillip and I were comparing hands. We notice that they were different colors on one side and matching on the other. He wanted to be my boyfriend and I thought that was a great idea. In those days kids walked home for lunch so our moms could make us a sandwich and then we went back to school.

When I went home that noon I told my mother that Phillip was my boyfriend. She somehow let me know that wasn't ok. While we were never allowed to use the N word, my parent's attitude was one of benevolent tolerance, not racial equality. It was years before I found out what I seething bigot my father was.

The next day Mrs. Wright moved us apart and the relationship fizzled out. I understood that I was to be polite but keep my distance.

So I'm happy that I have a black president. He and I would disagree about a lot of things, but we would agree that my mom and Mrs. Wright missed the boat on this one.


This picture is for Mia. Dylan and Kim were delighted with the Fiesta bowls she got them as a wedding gift.
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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

because...


after today my grandson will never know a world where a black man can't be president of the United States.

Today that is enough for me.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

because a knitting friend asked...

This picture is just a little silliness, result of a conversation with friends when I was very tired.

I need to tell you how cool it is having adult kids living close. Dylan and Kim are here for a fiesta! Randy got tamales from a friend and made some enchiladas. Dylan is in charge of the margaritas. Woo hoo! I wish you were all here.

This morning I was putting clean clothes on hangers and noticed that I tend to choose the hangers that match the clothes I am hanging up. Odd, I know.

Had a conversation with someone yesterday about the stereotypical homeschool family. We listed a bunch of characteristics like long braids, denim jumpers, fifteen passenger vans and dozens of kids. She teaches her own kids at home and I used to, so we weren't being snarky, just observing. She said, "It would be easier to ignore stereotypes if people didn't work so darn hard at living up to them." True or untrue?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

for all my knitting friends

I was never any good at dissection in high school. it all looked like mush to me. Maybe if it had been knitted I would have understood.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Me and Stephen King

I've spent most of today reading On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King. I'm much better at reading books about writing by writers than I am at actually writing. That is a well established fact. I haven't been able to put this one down.

Memoirs have become my new favorite genre, even as they are uncovered as fake, one after the next. I am on the waiting list for The Glass Castle. It must be the voyeur in me that loves reading about other peoples messed up lives. This book gives you a peek into Stephen King's life, which is only mildly disturbing. As a bonus he tells you how he goes about writing and what he considers essential to being a good writer.

I've always thought I would like Stephen King if I ever met him. He seems to be a no b.s. kind of guy. The Christian characters that he creates are not the most sympathetic, but I recognize them. I see in them my own tendency to wear my religion like worn out hand-me-downs. Religion covers up the private parts that no one should see, but doesn't do it with much style. Underneath the rags I am still a created being in need of the comfort of a Savior.

Friday, January 9, 2009

What a difference a year makes!

This is a picture of Olivia and Mia from Christmas 2007. Olivia is modeling the thong that Mia crocheted for her. We had no idea that a year later Mia would be living in Maine and Dylan and Kim would be married. Ok, we could have guessed the Dylan and Kim thing. Can't help but wonder where we will all be next year!

I've been having fun going back through the old xanga posts. Seriously nostalgic. Before I shut it down I want to print some of it out. Better buy a couple of cartridges!

Like most people I don't do well with New Year resolutions. I don't normally make them. I like being contrary and when I'm surrounded by people who are all pumped up with resolve I tend to refuse on principle alone.
Instead I cheat by choosing a word for the year and pretending that isn't really a resolution. In the past I have chosen such cheesy terms as "kindness" and "thankfulness" . Believe me, I need these things. I can be a mean, ungrateful person. Really! If you could see the inside of my head you would be amazed.

So last year I got inspired by our family's Christmas challenge to make things for each other. My word for the year was creativity. Kiss of death. I'm pretty sure I haven't had a creative thought all year.

You would think that I would just give it up but a bit ago I was cleaning out the fridge. I threw away enough food to feed us for a week, getting angrier with each emptied casserole dish and Rubbermaid container. The garbage disposal ground on and on, liquefying several dollars worth of grocery money. I bet I shelved books for three hours to pay for that roast and all those veggies.

So this is it. No lofty goals. Not going to be kinder, more grateful, or ten pounds lighter. I'm not resolving to be more thrifty or to be a better steward. I just want to throw away much less food. How hard can that be?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

playing with pictures


I'm getting some practice posting pictures. Fortunately I have an entire wedding to play with. Picasa makes this pretty easy.

Dylan and Kim opted out of attendants at their wedding. This made things nicely simple. The focus was on the couple getting married and not on five fidgety girls yanking at the tops of their strapless gowns.
Max was adorable. He is an incredible dancer as well.

I have no idea what is up with the big black space but I can't seem to make it go away.

Ah well, more later.
S.






























Wednesday, January 7, 2009

This is Me Getting Started

Hey, I've missed you all! I've missed hearing from you and I have missed writing, but it has been good to take a break. I've been doing a lot of lurking but haven't left many comments.

Dylan and Kim's wedding was amazing. Not a single flaw from my perspective. I'll put up some pictures later.

I've been told that this black background is hard to read, but I think it looks so cool. Let me know what you think.

More later as I explore all my options here. Let me know if you found me!

S.